your alarm wakes you up, and you hastily turn over. the sun glows on your tan skin and your shirt rides up, revealing your small waistline.
you smile and check the date on your phone.
it’s the first day of 2019.
last night you went to a new year party with all of your friends and, for the first time in a while, you felt… good. happy. fulfilled.
you reached your ugw about a week ago, and have been maintaining it ever since. and it shows – boy, it shows.
you are so light that people can pick you up and carry you across the room at ease. everyone was joking about it last night, but instead offeeling insecure about your weight being the topic, you were delighted. because finally, you were proud of it.
you even talked to your crush last night who hadn’t noticed you before. (s)he smiled at you and gave you their number, you’re meeting for coffee in an hour.
also.
that tiny waistline you wished for? it’s even smaller than you expected.
those dainty little wrists and bony hands? they’re yours. when you are bored, you wrap your thumb and pinky around those tiny wrists with room to spare.
that thigh gap? it’s beautiful. perfect. it still exists even when you sit down, even after you’ve eaten. you no longer get chafing everytime you walk.
your ugw looks and feels how you wished
it would and more.
this year is yours. and you don’t even have to work for it – it’s already there. you just get to live. focus on other things. you can feel how great it is.
you made it.
–
all this could come true in four months if you just worked for it.
1. Being able to trace your bones with your fingers 2. Being able to wear what ever you want without wanting to run and hide 3. Having a dainty body 4. Watching the number on the scale drop lower and lower 5. Being someone else’s thinsperation 6. Being worth a second glance from the people you pass 7. Having a blast at the mall cause you rock every outfit 8. Being the skinny girl/friend 9. Being able to wrap your fingers around your thighs 10. Being every guy’s first choice 11. Feeling in control 12. Wearing bikinis to the beach and feeling like a queen 13. Being your own thinsperation 14. Seeing the shock on people faces when you see them after a while 15. Making him regret EVER leaving or rejecting you 16. Being able to wrap your hands around your waist. 17. Having a size 0 be too baggy for your tiny legs 18. Feeling accomplishment that you reached your goals 19. Getting compliments on how good you look/your weight loss 20. Looking good in any photo at any angle, you won’t have a bad side. 21. The boys can pick you up with absolute ease 22. A flat stomach 23. Belly buttons rings are instantly hotter on a skinny girl 24. Proving everyone wrong 25. The before and after photos 26. To finally love your body, who wouldn’t love the skinny girl? 27. Having a valley of a thigh gap 28. Having more friends 29. Everyone loves and admires the skinny girls 30. Feeling self confident all the time
I stepped on the scale this morning and started crying. 130 to 119 in five days.
If anyone’s curious I usually:
🌸 aim for less than 300 cal a day, but anything under five hundred is okay.
🌸eat a small breakfast, like a banana or a small bowl of cereal, and then fast through lunch. I can’t avoid dinner because I still live with family, so I eat as little as possible there.
🌸it may be gross, but chew and spit is how I got through most of my cravings. I have a MAJOR sweet tooth and found it so hard to avoid that stuff, so if I really want to taste it I’ll chew it and then spit it out.
🌸don’t bring any food to school so I’m not tempted, and the rule is no matter what whenever I pass a water fountain I have to drink from it.
🌸speaking of water, I have to drink at least ten glasses a day. It’s really hard to do, but it keeps me full. Also, zero cal water flavours are my life. It makes it less of a chore and keeps my sweet tooth in check!!
🌸I aim for at least ten thousand steps a day, and I try and work out every night.
🌸I don’t eat after dinner, as it makes me feel bloated the next morning.
🌸I find it hard to sleep when I’m hungry though, so I have davids tea ‘mothers little helper’ which makes you sleepy, I also put on a lavender diffuser, and take melatonin supplements before bed.
✨
You can do it guys!!!! Stay safe please!!! You are all so beautiful no matter what your size and you will get there!!
I’m in control of this. I am in control of what goes into my body. I am in control of my weight. I’m in control of how fast I’m losing weight. I’m in control of how many numbers I consume. I’m totally in control. I won’t let anyone change that.
Take a deep breath. You had a bad moment. Your work hasn’t been undone, but this doesn’t mean you should continue this. Put the food down, take a deep breath. Go drink water. What are your plans for tomorrow? Set your calorie goal just a little lower. It’s okay. You can do this. No one reaches a goal without a bit of struggle. All this means is that you need to be just a bit stricter the next few days. No harm done, right? It’s okay. You’re okay. I promise.
Disclaimer: I do not promote eating disorders. This is for me only. I encourage everyone to seek help if you are struggling with an eating disorder. TW.
Imagine waking up. The air is crisp and the morning sun is streaming through the little Paris apartment window. You sit up and stretch gently, before softly walking over to the window and gazing at the street down below. Orange autumnal trees line the footpath, and the leaves swirl in the gentle breeze.
You pull on some tights, a high waisted skirt, and a sweater that you tuck in to it. You slip your feet into some boots, and start to brush your hair. You put on some makeup, but you don’t need much as your skin is so clear and your cheekbones are already accentuated on your beautiful angelic face. Before heading out the door you grab your coat, as these autumn days have been getting chillier, and you feel the cold so much more now.
You stroll up the street to the sweet little cafe on the corner, and order your usual café latte before taking a seat next to the crackling fireplace and pulling out your book. As the barista brings your coffee over, you look up and meet his gaze – he is smiling brightly at you, and your breath catches in your throat. He is beautiful. “Merci beaucoup” you thank him… “De rien” he says with that gorgeous accent, before returning to the espresso machine.
From time to time you look up at him between sips, and often you both catch each other stealing quick glances. You know that he thinks you’re beautiful, and you smile to yourself, finally feeling that this was worth it. All of the hard work, all of the tears and anxiety, it was all worth it for this moment. To feel completely at ease in your body…
SugarFreePeach 