“They see as stunningly beautiful woman and they cannot peel their eyes away from her but then ….”
I’m going to start by stating the obvious!
Men LOVE a CONFIDENT Woman!
In one of my most popular posts ( The Three Layers of Confidence )
I talked about how the surface layer of confidence is how you portray yourself …
and this all boils down to your body language.
The way you walk, the way you gesture, your facial
expression, your smile and your voice are just a few of the things that
encompass what the rest of the world initially sees.
I’ve been a dating for quite some time now and what I’ve found is that men (SD’s) value this a lot more than women and women tend to
underestimate the importance of this. A lot of the time women are too
busy thinking about the way they look, the way they dress and what type of men
are around, that they forget all about their body language. If only
these women knew the amount of men ( POTs and SD’s) thats I’ve spoken to who have
experienced the following situation: They see as stunningly beautiful woman and
they cannot peel their eyes away from her …. but then the see her move … she
walks around with a slouch and all her energy points towards the ground! Suddenly that woman becomes unattractive. Her physical features have not changed
but the man’s perception has done a complete U-turn, simply because the girl
looks unconfident and doesn’t own her presence.
The advice I’m about to give doesn’t just apply to women, it applies to EVERYONE!
1) Hold yourself the right way.
When you walk around, one of the most
attractive things you can do is carry yourself right. Keep your shoulders
pointed back and push your chest up, (as if a string was pulling your
chest from above). Maintaining a strong frame communicates to other sub-concious that you are a woman to be taken seriously.
2) Don’t be afraid to gesture when you talk.
Standing there all rigid isn’t going to get you the attention of any interesting or affluent man!
Be fluid with your hand movements. It shows power and confidence. Open palm
gestures are better over ‘closed palm gestures’, simply because they’re more welcoming,
and that is what you want. You want to be approachable.
3) Stop crossing your arms.
This is something I
learned from the age of 16 when my mentor pointed out to me how defensive I look when I cross your arms. People often cross their arms when they are
angry or hurt or defensive: they come off cold and closed. I understand that sometimes, when we are in a
stressful or uncomfortable environments, we cross our arms,( and often we do it
subconsciously) :ut I want you to become more aware of your body. Try to notice
those moments when you cross your arms and stop! Practice makes perfect. Now I’m 20 and I can’t fathom the idea of crossing my arms unless I’m cold.
4) Don’t clutch your bag around your shoulder when
you are walking.
It’s a nervous sign and you look like you are hiding
something. Just Relax! … If you find yourself in a tense situation, a
really great thing to do is to breathe slower. Shifting your breathing to a more controlled
and slower level will immediately relax you. I often do this when I’m in a
lecture theater with over 100 people and I’m about to be the first one to ask a
question. I put my hand straight up in the air and in the few seconds before I am called on, I zone
out, slow my breathing down and then ask my question. That way when everyone turns
to stare at the ebony, Irish/American acented girl who just asked a daring
question.. I can hadle my classmates eyes burning into my soul!. And because my body language is on point, everyone who
turns to look at me now sees a confident girl. In one brief moment, I have
shaped their perception of me to my advantage. You won’t believe how many times this has helped me stand out to a potential mentor/boss/interviewer, before I’ve even spoken directly to them.
Now that you’ve got the basics down, we are going to work on
how body language changes through every interaction.
At the beginning of the interaction you want to have a fun,
energetic and an exciting persona. If you are an SB and you are freestyling, what
you want is for men to be approaching you. If you are a business person and you
are networking at an event, again, you want people to be approaching you. So approachable body language plays a key part at the beginning of this type of social interaction.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is just down to
you…. No, no, no! This is down to you and your friends or team mates or whoever
you keep in your company.
For example, you’re out in the city and you’ve struck
gold. You and your friend have stumbled upon the perfect 5 star bar that is
just flooded with potential men/clients/mentors.
Now if you and your acquaintances are all standing close together facing each other in a near circle-like
formation, you have immediately made it very difficult for anyone to come over
to you! What you want is to have your associates standing side by side, similar to a V- Formation (this is perfect for smaller groups). This way you can still
have a conversation with your company, while making it open and easy for someone
to join the interaction. Even better, at the same time you can be scanning the room to find your next interest.
Do this and you will find a lot more people will approach you.
Ladies, never forget that one of the hardest things a gentleman can do is
approach a beautiful woman when she is out with her friends. Not only does he have to
walk all the way over , interrupt your conversation, risk being rejected or even
laughed at, and then have to do the potential walk of shame back to his friends/affiliates. So it’s
your job to make it as easy as possible for him to approach you.
As you move through the conversation, don’t be afraid to
slow things down. Especially if you are trying to seduce a potential sugar
daddy or date. You want to slow things down a bit and make the interaction a
bit more sensual. Slow down your gestures, if you are drinking something, increase the time it takes for the glass to meet your soft lips. Make more eye contact. Play with your expressions
and don’t be afraid to squint your eyes a in a flirty yet seductive manner (you know exactly what I’m talking about).
Do keep in mind that this isn’t about being overly sexual:
there is nothing more unappealing than a woman that is trying too hard to be
sexy.
Try these steps in your everyday life and you will soon
notice they will become an integral part of your physical essence. The more you practice,
the better you get and it won’t be long before people look at you and immediately percieve tha you are a high value, confident
person.